This barely qualifies as a post, but I'm sure it will give plenty of you a good laugh.
Bert says: You peed on your job.
(Mind you, he hasn't sorted out "you" and "I" yet.)
What Bert means: While you were outside hanging the wash up, I climbed over the gate into your office, got up on your chair, and peed in it.
I suppose he was trying to give me a warning, but I didn't discover it until I sat down.
Get your chuckles out, everybody.